It has been a long lasting endeavour to define emotions and feelings and identify interactions and interconnectedness between these two. Practitioners and scholars have proposed many definitions. After years of working, studying and reading, I have developed my own definition of Emotions and the link between Emotions and Core Concerns. I would like to get your feedback and hear your thoughts on these notions.

What is Emotion?

To me, Emotion is an experience to matters of personal cultural social significance, typically experienced in association with a feeling, thought, and action. People usually -consciously or unconsciously – choose their emotional responses to events around them; for instance, whether to see a rainy day as depressing or as a good romantic day could be a matter of choice and association. Some emotions evoke positive constructive feelings, thoughts and actions which I call them Positive Emotions; some emotions evoke negative feelings, thoughts and actions which I call them Negative Emotions.

What are Positive Emotion and Negative Emotion?

Positive Emotion is usually an experience resulting from a core concern being met and satisfied.

Negative Emotion is an experience resulting from a core concern being unmet and unsatisfied.

People feel, think and take actions based on their views and ideas about their particular concerns. If your concerns are being met, you will experience Positive Emotions such as hope, enthusiasm and joy in your relationship with others. Positive Emotions tend to bring forth cooperative actions and pleasure in life. If your concerns are NOT being met and satisfied, you experience Negative Emotions; anger, fear and guilt and tend to take more competitive actions in your life.

What are Core Concerns?

Core Concerns/Values are wants that usually arise within a relationship. Core Concerns are very personal and relational. Core Concerns are important because they touch upon how we want or expect to be treated in a relationship. For instance, if you value Appreciation and want it to have in your life/relationship, any actions that reinforce or limit its presence in your life would concern you. When this core concern is not valued and somehow violated in the relationship, the relationship suffers and experiences distress and negativity. It is very important to know yourself and learn more about your Core Concerns in life. So Self knowing is a key to experience Positive Emotions.

How to identify your Core Concerns?

Here are some ideas that could support you to identify your Core Concerns and make your life more enriching:

  1. Reflect on your actions, feelings and thoughts
  2. Make a note of what causes you to experience Positive or Negative Emotions
  3. Name your Core Concerns in relationships
  4. See if there is a link between your Emotions and Core Concerns
  5. Choose relationships that respect and value your Core Concerns
Happy Possibilities,
I will be happy to help you in this journey, if it is needed.
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