A few weeks ago, I went to a concert at Harbour Front Theatre.  The concert was called Karevan.  It was very different from other concerts; it included a performer/ dancer, a group of musicians, and a video clip. The dancer/performer embodied the theme of ‘home’. Through her movements, she showed how life in North America is like and is different from other countries’.  There were some interviews in the video; a few immigrants were asked to share their ideas about ‘where home is’. Each person answered the question in a very unique way. For instance, one said “home is where my grandma is and where I remember my house and streets”; another one said “home is where I am comfortable, where I feel relaxed”; another person said ” home is where my heart is, where I am loved.” ; and the other person said “there is no home for me because I experience living in two places” .  Very thought provoking and inspiring interviews!

The movements of the dancer, the interviews and the music made me think of ‘home’ and how subjective its definition is.  The immigrants who were interviewed came from different countries and have been living in Toronto for many years.   My thinking didn’t stop during the intermission. My friends and I reflected on the theme during the intermission. As we were talking about the comments immigrants made,  one of my friends shared her views and said this: “To me ‘home’ is like having a chair to sit on.  I had a chair; however, when I migrated to Canada, I was given another chair.  So I believe an immigrant has two chairs to sit on!” She went on and said: ” I can’t sit on only one chair, I have to sit right in the middle of both chairs if I want to keep them both. I know it is hard to keep both.”

My friend’s story stayed with me for hours and days. It changed my view on Immigration and its impact on people.   It is a close analogy that I have ever learned about immigration!  It is not easy to let go of one and it is not easy to immerse onto another one without losing some parts of self… It is the dilemma that some immigrants have…

Next time when you talk to a first generation immigrant, remember this analogy. Try to understand her/his position without any judgment; pay attention to what this view bring to you and your relationship.

If you know immigrants who experience this dilemma, please feel free to pass on my info – www.taherehbarati.com– and encourage them to contact me.

Happy possibilities!

“ You are not doing anything particular but things are changing in my family”, how is it possible? He says.

One of my clients, Jon, said to me, “you don’t seem to be doing anything particular but things are changing in my family.  My daughter, Amy,  is doing better and her relationship with her mother, Jane, is stronger. Our concerns are no longer concerns, how is it possible?’ I smiled and then talked about the process of Narrative Practice Therapy.

Jon’s statement made me preoccupied all night. I remembered what Sue Kim Berg, co-founder of Solution-Focused Therapy, said. She said: ‘’Not to leave footprints in people’s lives while working with them on their concerns”. Thank you Jon for confirming it.

The next day I shared it with my colleague. She looked at me first and didn’t say anything.  After a few moments of silence, she told me a story from her trip to Baffin Island. She was there last summer for a few weeks taken some courses.

She said this: “I was in a small Inuit commnity speaking with some elders and one elder woman in the group looked at me and said in a gentle voice: ‘ you are experts.  All of you are experts in down south.  First you come and take us off the land and teach us how to live, because we didn’t know how.  Then you come and observe us and write books about us. You taught us to be good parents. Now, you come back to treat our children’”.

She was quiet for a few moments and said, “isn’t it wonderful that your client didn’t feel the same as this elder woman? What would have been possible to indigenous people if those, who stepped into their lives,  hadn’t left any footprints? ”  We began to review the history of our profession which made us reflect on how we work with people!

We talked and talked. We appreciated Michael White, co-founder of Narrative Therapy Practice, and his contribution to the field of psychotherapy and counselling. We were grateful for what Michael and Sue made possible for us to know that wouldn’t otherwise.

Yes, it is powerful when our conversations with people don’t reduce their description of self, their values and beliefs.

Yes, it is impactful when we become more respectful to the ways people live their lives.

Yes, it is wonderful to have a perspective/ approach that is respectful to all voices and that is curious to learn more about people’s ideas and resources.

Yes, it is important not to act as experts but use our expertise to nurture people’s knowledges to reconnect with their own inner resources.

Yes, it is powerful to have conversations with people regardless of their ages, genders, cultures, religions, and all other forms of isms.

Yes, it is necessary to flatten the hierarchal system and connect with people differently.

Yes, it is beautiful to have this opportunity to touch people’s lives.

Yes, it is …

If you would like to learn more about my approach, please visit my website at www.taherehbarati.com and come visit me.

Happy possibilities!