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I had a lovely talk with a friend who was very excited about her recent achievements. As she was sharing her success stories, she mentioned her worries for the presence of ‘evil eye’ in relationships.  She said sometimes people are not happy about one’s achievement; their unhappy feelings cause one not to be able to continue what she plans to achieve in life. She called that as ‘evil eye’ – negativity that prevents people from getting what they try hard for…

The word ‘evil eye’ got my attention; I began to think more about its origin and how it became part of human relationship, what it means, and if it really exist.

The more i thought of it, the more it became a fascinating subject, and the more questions pop up in my mind. For instance,  Is it from our negative thought about others? Or is it something that exchanged between people? …

I see ‘evil eye’ as a ‘negative energy’ that forms in relationship.  This energy  is co-constructed as we speak and share ideas and stories. I believe everything has an impact… Sharing success stories impact people; some may like, some may dislike, some may become more curious and some may become indifferent to what we share with them. …

Since everything has an impact, we affect one another in every relational transactions. We are influenced by energy exchanged between us; we mutually influence one another by our words, positions, and postures that we take in relation to what is being exchanged.

We (you and I) are part of this exchange; the way we share, the way we tell our stories, the way we position ourselves to one another, the way we non-verbally express ourselves contribute to responses that we give to one another.

To reduce ‘the impact of ‘evil eye’ – what i call ‘relational negative energy’- on our relationship, it is important to become more aware of how we share and what words/ posture we take when expressing our success stories.  When we look closely into our contribution to the reproduction of ‘negative energy’, we become more mindful of our way of telling and re-telling and consequently its impact on others. This might be a way to immune our relationship from this negative energy.

Happy Possibilities,

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT