I found myself thinking of phrases perpetuated in people’s conversations lately- the phrase such as  “more for me, less for you”.   What does this phrase mean? What does it say about the quality of our relationships with others?

Seeing natural and human resources as scarce has made us develop a belief that “the more for me means less for you.”  Believing in a scarcity of resources has got us believe that we have to compete with one another to gain, accumulate, and store resources more than what we need. This belief has invited us to view ourselves as separate from others. It has made our focus be on survival rather than connection. This belief has persuaded us to view the other as a threat to our livelihood.

This belief has engaged us in actions to subtly eliminate others. We persuade others to give up on their resources. We implicitly and explicitly influence others to give out their resources. We make deals with others to allow for conditional possession of resources. All these actions are justified within the discourse of competition that maintains the power of individuals/corporations on resources.

The alternative belief is to view resources as abundance. We do not need to engage in competition or misuse/abuse of power to maintain the possession of resources. We can share resources.  Resources can be enough for everyone if they are shared.  Thinking about resources as abundance is possible a) when we view our needs as limited and b) when we view our abilities/resources as unlimited. This view encourages us to engage in the exchanges of “giving and taking” based on our necessities.

The alterantive belief invites us to let go of the notion of scarcity.  It invites us to redefine our needs and necessities.  It supports and guarantees our survival, as we learn to consume less, share more, and use only what is needed.

The balance between unlimited abilities and limited needs create a different relationship quality with self and others.  When connection is centered in human relationships, one becomes open to share their abilities and resourses with others. The survival of our species is guaranteed when we engage in the exchanges of giving and taking based on abundant resources and limited needs of an individual.

Happy Possibilities,

Tahereh Barati, PhD