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Tag Archives: abuse

Clinical Assumptions and its effects!

26 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Aboriginal Culture, abuse, Better Future, Clinical responsibility, consciousness, Human dignity, Indigenous Culutre, political system, Professionalism, Social Work, Social Workers, The Children's court case, Trauma, University of Toronto

Human beings are wired to make assumptions about self, others and the world around. Making assumptions is a step towards making self safe, understanding and aware of what is happening around us.  Assumptions are part of human development and growth. Assumptions allow us to receive information knowledge and then process them internally and relationally.

Assumptions don’t get created by themselves; they are created and recreated in a network of people and they are reinforced in particular ways to serve some purposes and goals. Assumptions need to be tested constantly. When they are not tested and are taken as ‘truth’, they harm ourselves and others.

Yesterday, I attended the 100 years of Social Work profession at University of Toronto, 100 years of offering education, training and research.  In this symposium, I heard stories regarding significant impacts of clinical/political assumptions on aboriginal/ indigenous children and families in the past 100 years.  Speakers like Alanis Obomsawin and Cindy Blackstock reflected back on how political agendas and clinical assumptions joined and supported one another throughout the history. They shed light on how this marriage led to miscarriage of justices and ongoing injustice that destroyed indigenous cultures and harmed generations of people.

We, as professionals, have to constantly practice critical thinking and question what is going around us to be able to effectively provide services to our clients.  When we become complacent and when we allow our consciousness to be compromised, our ability to examine/question our personal/ clinical assumptions is minimized. This reduction will facilitate conditions for further experience of trauma and harm in people’s lives.

Now it is time to do something about the way the past was shaped by our colleagues. It is up to us to shape our future differently and not to repeat what other professionals did in the past.  Let’s stop the history from repeating itself.  The only things we need are our consciousness and critical thinking. Let’s work together to make a better future for all!

Happy Possibilities!

Tahereh Barati

 

 

 

 

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Love & Violence!

08 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

abuse, Aggression, Amour, Conflicts, cultural values, democracy, domination, empowerment, human relationships, Land, love, patriarchy, power balance, refusal acts, Social discources, tradition, violence, War, War Machine

Violence has many forms, levels and degrees; for instance, violence between men and women, violence between generations, violence between races, cultures and religions in a society and international violence between countries.

Most violence are ironically related to love; love for a person, love for God, love for democracy, love for land, love for …..

Do you think it is possible to love without any desire to possession, domination and control? Is it possible to love without being intrusive, without eliminating and limiting others’ freedom and wishes in life?

As we know, traditional patriarchal relationships have changed in western countries and women have fought for their advancements in the past few decades.  This social cultural shift has not happened in eastern countries. It seems that eastern countries are experiencing what western countries went through in 1950s.  This transition, as hard as it may be, is necessary.

Women in eastern countries are in transition; they are in the process of change; they began to question patriarchal traditions as well as their own roles in family and society.  They take initiatives to invite new ideas to their lives but social cultural and legal support are not there yet.

Why do you think love and violence got linked together? Who gets benefits from this marriage? Why do we attach positive meanings to acts of violence at times? What is the role of social discourses in this? Why have not we learned to love without exercising possession domination and violence?  What are the barriers to experiencing love without violence? Any ideas?

We intuitively know that love and violence don’t mix. We know that love is not genuinely experienced/ felt at presence of violence.  We know that any signs of violence-  possession, domination, aggression- is destructive to love. Why is it that this knowing is not included when interacting with one another?

To reduce violence in our interactions, we need to review our cultural values and beliefs; we need to separate destructive behaviours from acts that signify love.  We can not practice violence, domination and possession and name them as acts of love.  Love is damaged when violence, domination and possession are practiced in relationship.

Let’s resist accepting traditions that maintain the presence of violence in our life. Let’s open our eyes, see things differently and do things differently!

Happy Possibilities!

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

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Reflection on “Like Someone in Love”!

06 Monday May 2013

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles, Reflection

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Abbas Kiarostami, abuse, cultural beliefs, in love, Individulaistic culutre, international violence, love, men, Moives, possessiveness, reflection, relationship, research, roles, social interactions, social life, tradition, violence

Movies are great, provocative and generative; they bring new ideas into our consciousness. One of my favorite directors, Abbas Kiarostami, recently directed a great movie; Like Someone In Love. If you haven’t seen it yet, it is highly recommended.

Kiarostami’s way of movie-making and story-telling is very special. His movies are intentionally crafted and directed; they are very purposeful; and his movies tend to show invisible subtle and neglected elements of our daily life very vividly. Like his other movies, he conveys significant phenomena that has been affected many people; Love and Violence. Love and violence, for some reasons, have been linked together in our life. This marriage is destructive.

A former university professor and a student of sociology- who has a fiance – have an encounter in a very strange way. These two main characters are affected by violence when the fiance performs love with aggression, violence and domination.

The main character in the movie is in the process of change; she questions past traditions and her role as a woman in family and society.  She is pressured to do things against her will. She wants to rebel but social cultural and legal support are not there yet.  Her voice is not developed yet.

This movie made me think of writing my next post- Love and Violence. Check out my next post and let me know what you think.

 

Happy Possibilities!

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

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Power Balance in Relationships!

02 Saturday Jun 2012

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles, Link, Reflection

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Tags

abuse, autonomy, boundaries, conditions, conversations, culture, equality, equity, ethics, fairness, misuse of power, possibilities, power, power balance, power flower, power imbalance, privileges, purpose, reflection, relationships

We wish to be in a relationship that is equitable, fair and honest. Our desire is to be involved and nurtured in a relationship that feeds our soul, mind and body.

Relationships we have with others are invaluable and influential. Relationships with our partners, employers, colleagues, family members, children, school staff, neighbours, and so on are essential in our livelihood. Relationships form our identity and our understanding of ourselves and others.

We are often curious to know why sometimes it is difficult to find a relationship that nurtures us the way we deserve. We often wonder why it is not easy to form relationships without any external influences. We are often interested in learning more about those who are happy with their relationships with others. We want to know what works, what doesn’t, why some have it and some don’t.

Historically, everything seems to be geared to individuals. Success or failure of relationships has been an individual’s responsibility. We all may remember a statement that was said to us: ‘it is your fault if your relationships with others don’t work’.

I would like to challenge this attitude and mentality towards individuals and shed light on some hidden factors and conditions that influence our relationships with others in society.  I am not convinced that an individual -based answer to a complex question such as relationship is accurately reflective of all domains involved in relationship.

I suggest that we begin to pay attention to what contributes to so- called ‘failure or success’ in relationship; what makes it work and what prevents it from working; what internal and external factors intervene to one’s interactions with others.

I would like to name and categorize all of those factors and conditions as ‘POWER/ PRIVILEGES”.

Yes, I am aware of many definitions of power and privileges . To illustrate this, i would like you to take a test. Have you done ‘the Power Flower’ test? Here is the link to do the test. Please return to this page to continue reflecting on this theme.

http://web2.uvcs.uvic.ca/courses/csafety/mod2/media/flower.htm

Thanks for doing the test. Here are some questions that i would like you to think and reflect on:

  • What was it like for you to do the test?
  • What did you notice?
  • How many petals did you collect that were in Yellow and how many were in Blue?

Count your petals in each colour.  If you have more Blue petals, it means that your ‘power and privileges’ are recognized in society. If you have more Yellow Petals, it means  your ‘power and privileges’ may not be recognized in society as much.

Having this information in mind, I would like you to imagine yourself entering in a relationship; it could be a work related, romance related, or professional related relationship.  Knowing the fact that you have or have not shared the same power and privileges as the other person, pay attention to how you interact with the other person.

  • Would this knowledge change your interaction with the other person? How so?
  • How do you position yourself in a relationship when interacting with a person who has less or more power/privileges in society?
  • Does this knowledge affect your expectations from the other person? How so?
  • What do you need to be mindful of when interacting with a person with less or more privileges/power than you?
  • What difference do you think this knowledge make in your future relationships with others?

Wish you create conditions for yourself and others to have an equitable, fair and honest relationship with you!

Hope you engage in relationships that nurture your soul, mind and body!

Happy Possibilities!

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

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Patriarchy and Honour Killing!

02 Thursday Feb 2012

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles, Reflection

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Tags

abuse, change, communities, cultural norms., culture, democracy, east vs west, enlightenment, family, history, honour killing, human rights, military, misuse of power, patriarchy, political system, power, rule of law, tyranny

The practice of ‘honour killing’ has been around for many many centuries. The origin of ‘honour killings’ and the control of women are evidenced throughout history in the culture and tradition of many regions.

Honour killing is rooted in patriarchy.  ‘Honour killing’ is an unjust act; it is a justification for the selfish egocentric act when men’s power is challenged, and it is a calculated response to eliminate ones who disobey traditional norms.

Patriarchy is a social system in which the male gender role as the primary authority figure is central to social organization, and where fathers hold authority over women, children, and property. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege and entails female subordination. (Wikipedia)

Patriarchy is an unjust social system that is oppressive to women. The right to live for women and children in families and communities is conditional to their obeying social and cultural norms and traditions.

Western societies have come a long way to establishing an egalitarian social system that honours gender differences and respects the right to live for every person in society and families.   Under the practice of the rule of law, patriarchy became less and less apparent and more and more restricted and limited in social interactions!

It is important to acknowledge that many social movements have played an important role in the reduction of patriarchy in western societies. Social movements such as human rights movement, the feminist movement and anti- oppression movement.

I believe there is a need for a global movement against patriarchy. Without intensive collective actions against patriarchy, ‘honour killing’ may continue in many different societies.

We need to begin a talk on the role of patriarchy in establishment and maintenance of tyrannies in the world. Tyranny and Patriarchy! Yes, they are linked together and feed each other off.

I believe that we need to put our acts and efforts together to aim and dismantle ‘patriarchy’.  Dismantling patriarchy doesn’t require wars, it doesn’t require strong military actions but it does require a grand vision. A vision that promotes peace, liberty and human rights among people despite any differences in gender, race, sexual orientation and religion…

Let’s ‘think globally and act locally’ to tackle patriarchy!

Happy Possibilities!

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