• About Me
  • Links!
  • My Website
  • Quotes!

taherehbarati

~ It is a sharing ideas site!

taherehbarati

Tag Archives: Collective ideas

Love and its Narratives!

09 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Aggession and Love, Collective ideas, Domestic Violence, intimate relationship, Narative, Public Awareness, Reconstruction of Narrative of Love, Social Media and Love, Soical Media and Violence

What is Love? Love is affectionate feelings/actions towards another person.  Love and acts of Love are learned throughout our life experiences.  When two people become intimate partners, they become familiar with each others’ ways of presenting / expressing/ and articulating Love to one another.

Love, therefore, is a social process. It is learned from others and it is exchanged between/among people.  It is a socially constructed phenomenon; its meaning and its acts are descriptive/prescriptive based on what we have learned through our family, social, cultural, political narratives about Love.

Love is constructed through many cultural, social, and political narratives. For instance, some narratives of Love promote connection through respect, empathy, and understanding; some narratives link Love to violence and aggressive penetration; some narratives are about fairy tales fantasies that portrays love as an unattainable phenomenon, and so forth.

Knowing that each person’s learning of love located in her/his own particular social context gives us a permission to be open to learn and talk about narratives of love. This permission is quite liberating. It allows us to talk about the learned narratives about Love and negotiate its terms and performances in intimate relationships in a more coordinated fashion.

We intuitively know that love and violence don’t mix. We know that love is not genuinely experienced/ felt at the presence of violence.  We know that any signs of violence-  possession, domination, aggression- is destructive to love. We also know that there are social cultural narratives about love that promote aggression and violence in relationship.  We are aware that aggression and love are subtly promoted in media such as films, TV shows, books and etc.  We may know that disconnecting Love and Violence requires our collective awareness and possibly a reconstruction of the aggressive love narrative.

Therefore, it is not surprising that many experience confusion when these mixed narratives about Love interplay. It is obvious that the mixed narratives allow  the perpetuation of violence in intimate relationships.  And it is clear that it leads to silencing many people in their intimate relationships.

To reduce the presence of violence in our relationships, we need to review our cultural values and beliefs; we need to learn more about ways of demonstrating ‘generous love’ in our social media.  We need to talk about narratives that shed new light on ramification of violence in intimate relationships. We, each of us, need to embody acts of Love that lead to respect, empathy and understanding.  This, of course, requires our collective efforts, determination and perseverance.

Happy Possibilities!

 

Tahereh Barati, RMFT

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • More
  • Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

Why Controlling Behaviours?

12 Tuesday Mar 2013

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles, Reflection

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Collective ideas, Contolling behaviours, Individualistic values, Individulaistic culutre, Power Control; Power Struggle;, Relational Being, relational responsibilities, relationship

In my conversations with people who defined themselves as ‘controlling’ or ‘recovering from controlling habits’, i came to realize that controlling behaviours are not what we can recover from; controlling behaviours are expressions of what one gives value to. Controlling behaviours are indications of how one positions himself in relationship. Controlling behaviours are expressions of misuse of power, pursuit of single ‘truth’, and a need for certainty.

To me, relationship defines two people; relationship is a great container for two people to relate to one another. When two parties don’t give value to their relationship that holds them, they are more likely driven by behaviours that self- interested and self-centered; behaviours that are not relationship- centered.

We live in a society that promotes individualistic values and that prescribes self- centered ideologies in life. Individualistic values tend to allow individuals to stay focused on and take care of their own benefits when they are in relationship. This tendency to safeguard one’s own interests, only, is the reason for the presence of controlling behaviours in relationship.

The individualistic culture allows controlling behaviours to exist in relationship and supports individuals to exercise their power over another one.   Consequently, what happens is that relationship suffers and individuals feel disconnected from one another and individuals go in a separate way.

The alternative idea to have relational approach; to think relationally, to privilege the benefits of being part of relationship and to act/ respond relationally to support  one’s relationship with one another.  Relational responses allow individuals to take care of their relational interests instead of falling into a power struggle pattern and exhibiting controlling behaviours in relationship.

Happy Possibilities!

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • More
  • Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

Twitter Updates

  • RT @RonaldKlain: Thanks for mentioning me @vp, so here are the facts: 14,000 died from H1N1; we are headed to 400,000 dead in less than a y… 4 months ago
  • ted.com/talks/bill_gat… 11 months ago
  • RT @ilovequotebooks: Now more than ever: Practice the pause. When in doubt, pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed… 11 months ago
  • RT @CassK9: THINGS YOU CAN DO IN QUARANTINE: -chores -sweep till the floor's all clean -polish -wax -do laundry -mop & shine up -sweep agai… 11 months ago
Follow @tbarati

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

March 2021
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Jul    

Recent Posts

  • HOW MUCH LONGER BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE
  • Be your own best critic
  • I Said No
  • The Nightmare of History
  • Summar Pics 2!

Categories

  • Articles
  • Audio
  • Interview
  • Link
  • Photos
  • poetry
  • quotations
  • Reflection
  • sharing success stories
  • Uncategorized
  • videos

Blog Stats

  • 45,724 hits

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
%d bloggers like this: