Tag Archives: democracy

Love & Violence!

08 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by in Articles, Reflection

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Violence has many forms, levels and degrees; for instance, violence between men and women, violence between generations, violence between races, cultures and religions in a society and international violence between countries.

Most violence are ironically related to love; love for a person, love for God, love for democracy, love for land, love for …..

Do you think it is possible to love without any desire to possession, domination and control? Is it possible to love without being intrusive, without eliminating and limiting others’ freedom and wishes in life?

As we know, traditional patriarchal relationships have changed in western countries and women have fought for their advancements in the past few decades.  This social cultural shift has not happened in eastern countries. It seems that eastern countries are experiencing what western countries went through in 1950s.  This transition, as hard as it may be, is necessary.

Women in eastern countries are in transition; they are in the process of change; they began to question patriarchal traditions as well as their own roles in family and society.  They take initiatives to invite new ideas to their lives but social cultural and legal support are not there yet.

Why do you think love and violence got linked together? Who gets benefits from this marriage? Why do we attach positive meanings to acts of violence at times? What is the role of social discourses in this? Why have not we learned to love without exercising possession domination and violence?  What are the barriers to experiencing love without violence? Any ideas?

We intuitively know that love and violence don’t mix. We know that love is not genuinely experienced/ felt at presence of violence.  We know that any signs of violence-  possession, domination, aggression- is destructive to love. Why is it that this knowing is not included when interacting with one another?

To reduce violence in our interactions, we need to review our cultural values and beliefs; we need to separate destructive behaviours from acts that signify love.  We can not practice violence, domination and possession and name them as acts of love.  Love is damaged when violence, domination and possession are practiced in relationship.

Let’s resist accepting traditions that maintain the presence of violence in our life. Let’s open our eyes, see things differently and do things differently!

Happy Possibilities!

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

Patriarchy and Honour Killing!

02 Thursday Feb 2012

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The practice of ‘honour killing’ has been around for many many centuries. The origin of ‘honour killings’ and the control of women are evidenced throughout history in the culture and tradition of many regions.

Honour killing is rooted in patriarchy.  ‘Honour killing’ is an unjust act; it is a justification for the selfish egocentric act when men’s power is challenged, and it is a calculated response to eliminate ones who disobey traditional norms.

Patriarchy is a social system in which the male gender role as the primary authority figure is central to social organization, and where fathers hold authority over women, children, and property. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege and entails female subordination. (Wikipedia)

Patriarchy is an unjust social system that is oppressive to women. The right to live for women and children in families and communities is conditional to their obeying social and cultural norms and traditions.

Western societies have come a long way to establishing an egalitarian social system that honours gender differences and respects the right to live for every person in society and families.   Under the practice of the rule of law, patriarchy became less and less apparent and more and more restricted and limited in social interactions!

It is important to acknowledge that many social movements have played an important role in the reduction of patriarchy in western societies. Social movements such as human rights movement, the feminist movement and anti- oppression movement.

I believe there is a need for a global movement against patriarchy. Without intensive collective actions against patriarchy, ‘honour killing’ may continue in many different societies.

We need to begin a talk on the role of patriarchy in establishment and maintenance of tyrannies in the world. Tyranny and Patriarchy! Yes, they are linked together and feed each other off.

I believe that we need to put our acts and efforts together to aim and dismantle ‘patriarchy’.  Dismantling patriarchy doesn’t require wars, it doesn’t require strong military actions but it does require a grand vision. A vision that promotes peace, liberty and human rights among people despite any differences in gender, race, sexual orientation and religion…

Let’s ‘think globally and act locally’ to tackle patriarchy!

Happy Possibilities!