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Tag Archives: Narative

Love and its Narratives!

09 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles

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Aggession and Love, Collective ideas, Domestic Violence, intimate relationship, Narative, Public Awareness, Reconstruction of Narrative of Love, Social Media and Love, Soical Media and Violence

What is Love? Love is affectionate feelings/actions towards another person.  Love and acts of Love are learned throughout our life experiences.  When two people become intimate partners, they become familiar with each others’ ways of presenting / expressing/ and articulating Love to one another.

Love, therefore, is a social process. It is learned from others and it is exchanged between/among people.  It is a socially constructed phenomenon; its meaning and its acts are descriptive/prescriptive based on what we have learned through our family, social, cultural, political narratives about Love.

Love is constructed through many cultural, social, and political narratives. For instance, some narratives of Love promote connection through respect, empathy, and understanding; some narratives link Love to violence and aggressive penetration; some narratives are about fairy tales fantasies that portrays love as an unattainable phenomenon, and so forth.

Knowing that each person’s learning of love located in her/his own particular social context gives us a permission to be open to learn and talk about narratives of love. This permission is quite liberating. It allows us to talk about the learned narratives about Love and negotiate its terms and performances in intimate relationships in a more coordinated fashion.

We intuitively know that love and violence don’t mix. We know that love is not genuinely experienced/ felt at the presence of violence.  We know that any signs of violence-  possession, domination, aggression- is destructive to love. We also know that there are social cultural narratives about love that promote aggression and violence in relationship.  We are aware that aggression and love are subtly promoted in media such as films, TV shows, books and etc.  We may know that disconnecting Love and Violence requires our collective awareness and possibly a reconstruction of the aggressive love narrative.

Therefore, it is not surprising that many experience confusion when these mixed narratives about Love interplay. It is obvious that the mixed narratives allow  the perpetuation of violence in intimate relationships.  And it is clear that it leads to silencing many people in their intimate relationships.

To reduce the presence of violence in our relationships, we need to review our cultural values and beliefs; we need to learn more about ways of demonstrating ‘generous love’ in our social media.  We need to talk about narratives that shed new light on ramification of violence in intimate relationships. We, each of us, need to embody acts of Love that lead to respect, empathy and understanding.  This, of course, requires our collective efforts, determination and perseverance.

Happy Possibilities!

 

Tahereh Barati, RMFT

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Why Compassionate Fatigue?

25 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles, Reflection

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Burnout, Compassionate Fatigue, emotions, Injustices, Narative, problem saturated stories, professional identity, psychotherapy, reflective, resiliency, social constructionist ideas, solution focused, supervision, Suppression, therapy

I went to a workshop titled Compassionate Fatigue a while ago. It was interesting to see how the presenter described and explained the presence of Compassionate Fatigue in life of professionals; particularly, mental health practitioners. It was also interesting to hear solutions she offered to this matter.  When I left the workshop I felt happy that organizations are addressing this phenomenon and felt unhappy that suggested solutions sounded very individualistic. Unfortunately, social cultural relational factors that contribute in formation of compassionate fatigue were somewhat left out at this workshop.

As you may have discovered, I view things with the social constructionist lens. This issue is like others is socially constructed and can be reconstructed if we change our traditions of practice and our tradition of relating to one another at workplace.

To me, the experience of compassionate fatigue is linked to a few issues, they are the following:

a) What we listen to:  We, professionals, have been taught to listen to ‘problem stories’ for centuries. Traditional approaches in psychotherapy reinforce this way of listening. Listening to problem stories have exhausted professionals’ resources and contributed to the experience of compassionate fatigue. The post- modern approaches invite professionals to become more aware of what they listen to; it is suggested that we listen to ‘stories of resiliency’ as well as ‘problem stories’, it encourages us to practice ‘double listening’. This shift has helped professionals feel energetic and less fatigue in their professional work.

b) Supervision: Supervision is a place when sharing and brainstorming ideas take place; when one’s professional identity is formed. Lack of supervision at workplace has led many professionals to experience isolation and, therefore, compassionate fatigue.  Many employers, also, have imposed the role of supervision on managers without supporting and providing adequate trainings. Therefore, managers have been at risk of experiencing compassionate fatigue and burnout.  Lack or unfit supervision at workplace have put the lives of many at risk.

c) Competition: Culture of competition at workplace is seen as another source of compassionate fatigue. What makes relationships vulnerable is the presence of competition and the absence of empathy and collaboration. Competition makes the establishment of empathic and supportive environment difficult. Shifting from competition to cooperation requires openness, adaptation and support from everyone at workplace.

d) Suppression of emotions: Professionals are taught not to share their emotions with one another. This learning takes energy and leads to experience of burnout and compassionate fatigue. We need to relearn what we have been taught in the school of psychotherapy. We need to become OK with our emotions and expressing them in a way that enhances our relationships and that increase our self-knowledge. Safety is a key in expressing emotions. Lack of safe environment at workplace has escalated the presence of compassionate fatigue for many professionals.

e) Miscarriage of justices: Many problems that professionals experience at workplace either don’t get expressed or when they are expressed, they get dismissed or suppressed by others.  Not getting sufficient support from employers, colleagues and system that we work for has significantly contributed to the experience of compassionate fatigue.

To reduce compassionate fatigue in our life, we need to change our attitudes in a way that opens up space for new ideas and that allow new approaches to co-mingle. We need to become more reflective, mindful and creative when offering support to one another and learn to ask for support when is needed.

Anything else do you think contribute to the formation and maintenance of compassionate fatigue in your life? Please share.

Happy Possibilities,

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

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