Tag Archives: relational

Relationship & Its impact!

06 Wednesday Feb 2013

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We live in relationship; relationship defines us, makes us, breaks us, modifies us and forms us.

We live in many various relationships. Every Relationship has three components – two participants and combination of both (A, B, AB).  We are satisfied when relationship has a capacity to hold nurture and make us grow. We are unsatisfied when relationship limits, minimizes and pressures us.

Our friendship relationships, our work relationships, our marital and parental relationships are contexts for formation of our identity- personal and professional identities.

Relationship is a place that individuals give and take each others’ courage.  Relationship is a place that individuals boost and destroy each others’ personal agency. Relationship is a place that provides conditions for re-construction or deconstruction of self.

When we experience suffering, suffocation and constraints in relationship, we may need to listen to what we experience and act upon it.  Participants of any relationship are not ‘passive recipients’. We contribute and have an impact on each other.

We may ignore, dismiss and silence voices of dissatisfaction. We may drown ourselves into work-holism and addiction. We may try to silence our voices and close our eyes; however, we can not stay and not have any ‘act of resistance’ in relationship. We do intentionally or unintentionally take stances in relation to what happens in our relationships.

Individuals respond; individuals make a balance between what is given and what is received in relationship. Nothing is lost in relationship. We have an impact on each other. The impact could stagnate or generate new possibilities.  The impact has to be monitored and evaluated more often because it has power to define, make, or break us in a long run.

If you are in relationship that makes you put aside your core values and preferences in life, you need to start having conversations with other participants of this relationship.

Conversation is the response to undesirable relational impact; the conversation that steers the direction of relationship back to its preferred direction!

Happy Possibilities!

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

Relationship as Witness!

20 Sunday Jan 2013

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A person is born in a community of others, lives in a community of others and dies in a community of others. No one can survive outside of relationships. We live in real virtual or imaginative relationships. Relationships create us, define our identities, and form our way of living.

When one finds himself/herself in relationships, either by luck, accident, association or intention, one pays attention to the degree of relatedness, commonalities and differences between her/himself and others.

Ability to become one’s witness in life is embedded in our relational nature of being. When opportunity presents itself, two people meet, engage and celebrate each others’ participation in life.

Witnessing begins and continues as long as two people allow and want to become involved with one another. Witnessing may perceive as an action that depends on how long a relationship lasts and how open two persons are together. Experience of loss is a sign of losing a witness in life. That is why it is hard for people to cope with loss. It also speaks to the importance of having a witness in one’s life. The act of witnessing remains and continues in one’s life even when a relationship ends. Even though a relationship ends, its memories remain alive in one’s life history. We want others (dead or alive) to watch and be with us when we rise up or fall down.

Allow yourself to be open to others; let yourself become a witness in someone’s life; let others be a witness in your life journey. Don’t be afraid of impermanence nature of relationship, remember every relationship is an invitation to new possibilities. Give permission to others to become part of your life as a witness. Happy relating and witnessing,

Happy Possibilities,

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT