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Tag Archives: Understanding

Knowing VS Understanding!

30 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles

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Conflict dissolution, Conflict resolution, Dissolving conflicts, Education, empathy, Expert Knowledge, human relationships, knowledge, Knowledge as Power, Respect, Soical responsibility, Understanding, Understanding as Power, Understanding with empathy

Have you ever thought of the differences between ‘Knowing and Understanding’? How do you differentiate these two?

I, lately, found myself thinking more and more about ‘knowing and understanding’ and their differences. Listening to National and International News or reading articles on human dilemmas brought their differences more into my attention.

Knowing is a privilege of comprehension, when one learns something and accumulates knowledge related to what was learned.  To be a know-er, one goes to school, college or university, learns a subject matter and becomes an expert or specialized in a particular area of expertise.  We have become good at collecting information and knowing. Our social cultural and educational systems are focused on teaching people to view ‘Knowledge as Power’.

However, Understanding is a privilege of critical thinking, empathy and social responsibility.  Understanding is formed when what is learned are responsibly and critically re-viewed . Understanding is when we pause our thinking process and pay attention to impacts of our actions on others; when we put ourselves on someone else’s shoe and experience their affection and pain; when we become aware of the influence of our actions on our communities and society.

Knowing is usually achieved by attending schools and getting certificate or license; however, Understanding is generated by life experience, by giving attention to the layers of our social fabrics, by thinking critically about our contribution to problems in the world.

We all are taught to become a know-er, an expert. ‘Knowledge is Power’ was the slogan of the 20th century. We were taught to use any opportunities to climb up the ladder of ‘success’. We have learned that Understanding is an obstacle to one’s success.

On the other hand, we haven’t learned to explore ways of generating Understanding in human relationships.  We haven’t learned to view Understanding as Power.  We have to begin to undo what we have learned as those are obstacles to Understanding.

I don’t think we can go on this way for another century. Understanding has to be developed in our interpersonal relationships. Understanding has to be a critical part of human relationships. Understanding our differences, respecting various ideas and beliefs, and consequently, developing social responsibility are seemed to be the only avenues to preserving humanity.

Where do you place yourself in the spectrum of ‘knowing /understanding’? What actions are you taking to become an understanding person? How would you like to contribute in generating Understanding on matters that affect us all?

Happy Possibilities,

Tahereh Barati

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Gifts of Spiritual Joureny 4!

12 Saturday Oct 2013

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles

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Definition of Love, love, People with different cultures, Personal Journey, Perspective of others, social change, Understanding

In this Journey, my understanding of Love expanded and changed. I became familiar with various understanding/meanings of Love as different people shared and talked about their meanings and understanding of this notion.  I listened to delightful amazing descriptions of Love. The followings are a few definitions of Love from people who shared ‘the way’ with me:

An Italian person shared his understanding and definition of Love. He said this: “Love is like a fire; it could hurt. That is why one has to be protected from Love.  He continued and said: “When Abraham wants to see God, God tells him that he should go to the corner and protect himself from His Love because His love is so strong that could burn him”. He said “Love for another human being can be harmful if two people don’t know how to guide each other. However, It is powerful and strong; it is source of life”.

A Belgium person described his definition of Love this way: “Love is a beauty; it is magical; It is a powerful force. Love is a way of being; it is understanding; it is having respect for others’ wishes; it is a two- way street consideration; it is a collaboration between two; it is when no one is an object to another.

A Dutch person said this: ” Love perhaps is doing something for another person without expecting any reward. Love is perhaps being teary when one does something good for another one. Love is giving without expecting anything in return”.

A German person described Love this way and said: “Love is when things continue; where there is no cut off; when there is a continuity in expressing oneself in certain manners. When one’s expression of Love doesn’t change due to physical distance”.

Their definitions have broadened mine. This journey has broaden my perspective and has made my life further multidimensional. This journey has brought things to my attention that i wouldn’t be able to recognize otherwise…

Any action we take has consequences, why not taking actions that are life- changing and long- lasting!

Happy Possibilities!

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

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Gifts of Spiritual Journey- 1!

10 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles

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connection, El Camino de Santiago, emotional connection, Human connection, human knoweldge, Human relations, human relationship, Spiritual journey; Silence, Understanding

“El Camino de Santiago” has been a destination for many individuals who seek spiritual mental and emotional connection with something bigger than oneself.  I decided to experience this journey this year in September.

One of the gifts of this journey for me has been the development of a new realization that ‘words’ are not really necessary/essential for understanding and connection in human relationship.

I came to realize that when we take time, slow down and make a close eye contact with the world around us, we hear, see and feel things differently; our senses function more effectively. I found ‘words’ as obstacles to my attention to and my understanding of the world.

Perhaps rich understanding and deep connection in human relationship is possible with valuing ‘silence’ and total ‘presence’-  silence that allows us to listen deeply to one another; and mental, emotional and physical presence that opens up space for much deeper understanding of one another.

The keys to understanding and connection are to be comfortable with ‘silence’ and be more ‘present’; not to have more fancy ‘words’ and intellectual debates!

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

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Love & Its condition!

29 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by Tahereh Barati, PhD in Articles, quotations, Reflection

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Compassion, Freedom, joy, kindness, love, reflection, relationships, spirituality, Understanding

We all want Love in our life. We all have strong desire to experiencing loving relationships. We all want to reassure ourselves that we are being loved by someone special.  But what is Love? How can it be possible? Can it be constructed?

Loving ourselves, loving each other, our neighbors, and our enemy are essential part of philosophical political and psychological debates in human history. It is said, most fights/ conflicts are linked to the absent of Love in human relationships.

Thick Nhat Hanh shares his views and wisdom on ways of bringing Love more present in our daily life. In his book, True Love (1997), he says: according to Buddhism, there are four elements of true Love. I am going to share with you what he consider as essence elements of Love. They are the following:

a) The first element of true love is Maitri, which can be translated as Loving- kindness or Benevolence. Loving- Kindness is not only the desire to make someone happy, it is the ability to bring joy to the person you love. To have this ability, you must practice ‘deep looking’ directed towards the person you love. If you don’t understand this person, you can’t love properly. Understanding is the essence of love.  How to understand the person? We must have time; we must practice looking deeply into this person. We must be attentive. We must observe and look deeply.

b) The second element of true love is  Karuna, Compassion,  this is not only the desire to ease the pain of another person but the ability to do so.

c) The third element of true love is Mudita, Joy. If there is no joy in love, it is not true love. If you are suffering all the time, if you cry all the time, if you make the person you love cry, this is not really love. It is even the opposite.

d) The forth element is Upeksha, Equanimity or Freedom. In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free; not only outside but also inside.

I would like to invite you to reflect on your love according to these elements and see if your love has these elements and if not, what could you do differently.  Please share your thoughts and ideas!

Happy Possibilities,

Tahereh Barati, M.A, RMFT

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